We lost Beau yesterday. I’m not much of a social media person for personal items but for some reason blogging feels different and more acceptable to get deep. He was a great cat. He quite literally saved me. When I was getting divorced and deeply depressed I held on because I felt like no one would love and care for him quite in the way I could. So I had to keep going. For Beau.

That’s the last picture I have of him. I didn’t want to take any pictures of him at the vet. He’d struggled with his health a lot over the past couple years and months but this wasn’t expected. My husband and I were even talking earlier in the day that we wouldn’t be ready to make any kind of decision for him. But when the time came, we knew it was the right choice for him.

It’s hard to reconcile what I’m knitting with what I’m feeling. I’m working on a cowl that’s just so sunny and bright. It’s even with my birthday yarn.

I was so worried with my last project about the negative association of almost losing him. Now I really have.